How do you deal with children flying away?

How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby pigtailpat » May 5th, 2014, 2:52 pm

One of my older twins is going to move to Texas is September, and my baby is graduating HS school in June. I am feeling a little sorry for myself and my life is starting to change in a way I am not sure I am ready for. I'm so busy quilting, but the children issue is tugging at my heart right now.

So, since I know that some of my sisters here have been through this, I figured to post to see if is there any advice for me?

Love to all,

Pat
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Re: How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby Gigi » May 5th, 2014, 4:48 pm

I have had three leave the house (one sort of flies back and forth!!) but it's hard to let them go. The flip side is that is what a parent is supposed to do - raise their children to find their wings and soar. They are still going to need you - it's just different. What I have grown to love about this whole process is now that they are grown up, I can talk to them adult to adult and that is so refreshing and enjoyable - most of the time!!

It takes time to embrace and it's ok to feel sad. It's good that you have projects and other things in your life to fill the void - it all helps!

It is a transition for all of you! It's great fun to watch their adventures and cheer them on! Good luck.
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Re: How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby Sassycutter » May 5th, 2014, 5:41 pm

I second what Gigi said! I am so proud of the adults my children have become! I bawled like a baby Imagefor two days when each of my kids went to college because I knew they would never be "home" again!! Then I realized how nice it was to not have stuff disappear, messed up, people running through at all hours, etc. I had to stop and remember that this was what I really wanted for my kids. To be strong, independent, responsibile, caring people. It's a transition, but well worth it!! Image
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Re: How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby janrichards » May 6th, 2014, 8:19 am

Just keep repeating, "roots and wings", "roots and wings", roots and wings"!!!!!!
Jan
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Re: How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby pigtailpat » May 6th, 2014, 7:14 pm

Thanks everyone, you're making me feel better.....

Pat
New owner of an 18" cougar and the gazelle...still a newbie at the cougar and will soon explore it............
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Re: How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby newbiecat » May 9th, 2014, 11:38 pm

Hi Pat

Bill Bridges wrote a book called Managing Transitions, and his basic thought is that for every new beginning there is an ending, and between the ending of what was - and the beginning of what will be there is a period of transition. This is the messy place where we all experience all of the emotions of grief, anger , upset , denial and all the rest as our world changes. Please honour and respect those parts of you that are grieving for the loss of what you had, those parts are doing their best to look after you.
In a while gradually life will settle into the new beginning, and then you will begin to enjoy what will be and after a while it will be just how it is!
And such fun to be had getting to know your new machine without any of the guilt of ignoring your children since they will be off enjoying their new beginnings. I am sure they will be back, with their washing and when they want to be looked after and when they just want to hang out with you sooner than you think.
In the meantime try to be as gentle with yourself as you are with them. As the Chinese saying goes 'this too shall pass' Wishing hope and kindness
Pandora
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Re: How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby PennyDuncan » May 20th, 2014, 2:46 am

I feel for ya Pat....my youngest and last baby will be moving out within the next 2 weeks....so I will be an empty nester as well.....I'm thrilled and proud of my 2 boys...and know it's time....but I know I'll be crying like a big baby too and they are both still in our little town....just still different!!! ;) BUT....on a HAPPY NOTE.....I'll be taking over his room for my ARTHaven....cause it's ALOT bigger then the room I have now!!!! LOL
Have a Blessed Day...Penny Duncan
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Re: How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby Gigi » May 20th, 2014, 10:20 am

LOL - have to look for those hidden blessings.... :)
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Re: How do you deal with children flying away?

Postby PennyDuncan » May 21st, 2014, 8:51 am

That's right Gigi!!! ;)
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