remember my awful day???? welll...

[PennyDuncan]

Mary I too am SO happy your Dean is standing up for you...says alot about his integrity!!! You definately bonused when you got the position with him!!!! I can't wait to hear how this all unfolds cause I'm seeing her going down and he will do it in a way she that she apparently knows nothing about....class and integrity!!!

[Gigi]

OMG Mary -that is SO juvenile - and from supposed professionals! Geesh.

I am SO glad you don't work for her anymore and don't you let her intimidate you. She probably has to work harder because she no longer has you and can see how successful and valued you are. Sounds like she really needs to do some self-therapy STAT. But those people rarely look at themselves - it is to easy to look outward.

Kate is so right. She is going to bring herself down. And you DO have backup here - she/they better not mess with you - they have NO idea what happens when all of us take on a cause!!

Feel our hugs around you and don't you dare let her take your power away. You have right on your side (and your boss to back you up). I would love to be a fly on that wall - I would buzz in her ear and drive her nuts (more so than she already is!!)

[meme]

I think she should be patting you on the back and saying good job, well done, instead of the insults! Glad your dean has your back. Most people that are like that aren't happy with themselves; it's probably not really about you. You just happen to be her victim so that she can feel better about herself. I am just a disfunctional housewife, not a professional on analyzing people but that is usually the case when someone wants to try to make someone feel bad. Yea You!!!! Hold your head up high! You have people here that think you 100%!

[kate3]

Mary, That person was never really a friend and I have had a few I have had to learn the hard way with too. I am terrible because I am the I am gonna love you until you prove me wrong type and it hurts. You have a great record and right on your side so don't be intimidated by them. If you are don't let it show and remain sweet and calm. It drives them nuts.
My husband had 3 women document controllers in his office that worked for him. When he took the job he noticed they were always snapping at each other about who was in charge. He made a chart putting the one with the most experience in charge and she had also been there the longest and did the best work. She went on a weeks holiday and he came in to find the other 2 rolling around the floor trying to kill each other. He actually called me to see what he should do which was separate them now! Before they do real injury. He couldn't win, the one in charge quit because of their behaviour and the other 2 quit because neither was put in charge, they were equal and they couldn't stand it. They were all earning $94,000.00 a year with 12 weeks paid holidays and they quit??? Now he has no document controllers and is madly trying to find some to do the work. I thought office politics had gone bad when I was working in one but I don't remember anyone coming to blows. All I could do was laugh at him being the supportive wife that I am. He just looks so confused when he tries to work out how women think. I don't think I could work these 3 out. He has men applying for these positions because they would be so grateful to earn that much. I told him to hire them if they can learn the program, they have families that will benefit. The 3 women were single and just didn't care.

[LisaH]

Mary, sit there and smile...not a grin or a smirky type...but just a gentle smile and also keep it there even when you speak. You can cut someone to the bone and be very polite and smiling when you do it and they don't have any idea you've sliced them to ribbons until it's all over with and they are walking away. Works every time.
Love and hugs to you!!!

[kim]

Kate, your DH's story reminded me of when I used to be over a department full of women. I would have gladly traded in my position to be just a plain accountant again. I had a couple of women who would fight over who gets what desk, when one employee left. When we moved office buildings, they all fought over who got the window (put the receptionist there since it was at the entrance). When you get a team that all gets along, it makes the workplace a joy to be in. But put one person in the mix that "doesn't play well", and the whole bunch become nuts. I have to say that I much prefer working with men rather than women, or with women who have more self-esteem. It tends to be the people with low self-esteem that get into these cat fights and back biting bouts.

I mean, really, what sane person with confidence and self esteem would bring this situation to the point it is now with Mary? She, the dean, is feeling threatened by Mary, if you ask me. And Mary's ex-friend, was no friend at all, ever. If this is the kind of person she is, then Mary is better off without her. Treat people with respect. If they don't return it, then go on your merry way. I think Mary is a better person and can hold her head up high knowing that these people's actions are beneath her. I think that her dean recognizes that in Mary and has the integrity and decency to back her up.

Hey, Mary!!! You have a cheering section here on the forum and we are behind you 100%. You show us everyday what kind of person you are.

[CaseysAngel]

Many prayers for you sweety!!!!!!

[Gigi]

Beautifully said, Kim!

[kate3]

I agree, well said Kim. Nothing could make me work in an office again. I had one job where we had flexi hours. I used to start work at 5.30AM so I could be home for my daughter after school. There were two girls in this office that were so petty and they worked later than I did because they started later. Almost every day I would come in and something was missing from my desk. Stupid things like my stapler when they only had to open the supply cupboard to get a new one just the same. They decided they wanted my job because they were always together plotting. After 6 months of them I gave it to them with the key to the supply cupboard. I may have left a message for them like, get a life, when I left.

[Mary Kobe]

Thanks, everyone! My meeting is in 3 hours, and I did not sleep well last night. I know that I should not let this bother me, but it is very hard to let it go. My dean has tried to keep me calm and told me not to get worked up, but I know these people very well and I know how they can be. He has told me repeatedly that he will handle the other dean during the meeting and I would "chime in" as needed. I am so nervous! I hate confrontation and the female dean has caused many problems for me in the past. I know that people say to forget the past, but when someone is intentionally mean and hateful, it is very difficult to forget.

I will remember what Lisa said, "Smile"! And I KNOW this will get to them!

Will let you know if I survived after the meeting.

[LisaH]

We are behind you Mary...so pull from our collective strength, we WILL hold you up!!!

[Angel135612]

Good Luck Mary.. I know you will be great in the meeting.... just keep smiling and even if they get under your skin, don't let them know that.

[kate3]

You can do it! Now you smile while you wipe the floor with her.

[Suzan]

Oh yes staying calm and smiling should do it. That will drive her crazy. Will be thinking of you and and sending prayers and how about a couple of angels

[Mary Kobe]

WELL....I SURVIVED!! After two, long hours, I am back at my desk. I went in with a positive attitude and a smile! Oh, yes, they started to come down on me, but my dean interrupted very quickly, and the tables turned! It was admitted in the meeting that the "pot stirrer", the one that was my friend but not a true friend, had submitted incorrect information to her dean! Ah, go figure!

I can't say that anyone won or lost, but we came to agreements.

Thank you all for your support! I could not wait to get back to my desk to report back to you! And to let you all know that I was not in tears!

I love you all!

[Suzan]

YIPEE yes you did win, and who looks stupid now? Hello the other dean and the unfriend. Now how to we plot revenge, can we tp cars, or wrap them in saran wrap. I am open. I am super happy for you.

[kathybessey]

Yeah Mary!!! While it is unfortunate that it had to come to this it is resolved and your boss did just what he was supposed to - stuck up for you!!! I am so happy for you that you were able to sit there and smile!

Suzan - what are you doing? Aren't you at work LOL (I am home with Aiden today, bug going around at day care and he got it)

[Thyme]

WELL....I SURVIVED!! After two, long hours, I am back at my desk. I went in with a positive attitude and a smile! Oh, yes, they started to come down on me, but my dean interrupted very quickly, and the tables turned! It was admitted in the meeting that the "pot stirrer", the one that was my friend but not a true friend, had submitted incorrect information to her dean! Ah, go figure!

I can't say that anyone won or lost, but we came to agreements.

Thank you all for your support! I could not wait to get back to my desk to report back to you! And to let you all know that I was not in tears!

I love you all!

Congrats Mary!

[Gigi]

Way to go, Mary!! I am so happy for you and your Dean. Good for him for cutting her off......

Everyone said it so well - you may not feel like you won, but you did just by your demeanor and your principles! They look like the fools that they are. Shame on them.

I hope they are done coming after you. Hope you can now relax a little and have a great day - you deserve it!

[Suzan]

Yeah Mary!!! While it is unfortunate that it had to come to this it is resolved and your boss did just what he was supposed to - stuck up for you!!! I am so happy for you that you were able to sit there and smile!

Suzan - what are you doing? Aren't you at work LOL (I am home with Aiden today, bug going around at day care and he got it)

Of course I am at work. Trade places in a heartbeat